Play Therapy for Children

For children, play is their primary language as their brain development does not allow for them to understand and communicate their internal experiences in the same way as adults. Children primarily exist in the emotion and animal parts of their brain, rather than their thinking brain, which means that utilizing play in therapy allows a child to express their internal thoughts, feelings, experiences, and challenges without having to put words to it. When a child feels pressured to explain their experience, this can feel overwhelming and unsafe for them, as their brain does not have the capacity to emotionally regulate through their experiences in the same way as our adult brains.

In play therapy, I create safety and trust so your child feels comfortable allowing their internal world, including their emotions and their challenges, to emerge through their play. As a play therapist, I am helping your child understand their thoughts and feelings and overcome their challenges through a type of therapy known as Synergetic Play Therapy™. As a Certified Synergetic Play Therapist™, I am deeply passionate about this way of working with children and their caregivers.

Synergetic Play Therapy (SPT)™

Synergetic Play Therapy™ is a researched-informed model of play therapy blending the therapeutic power of play with nervous system regulation, interpersonal neurobiology, physics, attachment, mindfulness, and therapist authenticity. In the fields of Neuroscience and Interpersonal Neurobiology, research has confirmed the profound healing that occurs when a therapist is able to attune to their child client, and co-regulate with the child through their emotional dysregulation that arises in their play, allowing the child to move toward their challenging thoughts, feelings, and body sensations.

My capacity to attune to your child and understand their internal world as it emerges through their play helps to facilitate their connection with their challenging internal states and their movement towards empowerment.  I facilitate your child’s engagement in mindfulness and regulation, which is the foundation for your child to learn how to manage their own nervous system and shift their challenging thoughts and feelings. Research shows that as clients begin to move towards their challenging internal states, new neural connections are created (Edelman, 2004; Tyson, 2002), which helps your child to heal from the inside out and from the lowest parts of the brain up.

In Synergetic Play Therapy™, a child’s symptoms are understood as symptoms of a dysregulated nervous system.  These dysregulated states arise as a result of: 1) The perceived challenges and thoughts the child is having regarding events in their life and 2) The child has lost attachment with themselves and is attempting to be someone they are not (acting from “shoulds”) instead of being their genuine self.

As a Certified Synergetic Play Therapist™, I strive to be congruent and authentic during the play process to create trust and safety with your child. In doing so, I act as an external regulator for your child’s dysregulated states in their nervous system as they arise in the play therapy process (Shore, 1994). I support your child in changing their perceptions of their perceived challenging events and thoughts in their life, and help them to get in touch with their authentic self.

Common Challenges That bring Children to play therapy:

  • Emotion-regulation challenges

  • Anxiety

  • Depression

  • Anger/Aggression

  • Behavioural Concerns

  • Relationship, Family, or Parent Conflict

  • Divorce

  • Difficulty with Relationships/Friendships

  • Grief and Loss

  • Challenges with Adjustment to Change or Transition

  • Attachment Issues

  • Self-Esteem/Critical Self-Talk

  • Learning or Developmental Delays

  • Sensory Processing Issues

  • Trauma

    Trauma can include:

  • Global or natural disasters, such as a pandemic, earthquake, fire, flood, or war

  • Relational/Attachment trauma, such as bullying, abandonment, neglect, or abuse

  • Abuse, including sexual, physical, emotional, neglect, and witnessing domestic violence

  • Death and Loss

  • Single-incident trauma, such as an accident, an attack, or any other incident your child perceived to be frightening/traumatic

  • Medical trauma, such as diagnoses, distressing or painful medical procedures, or any other medical (including dental) experience that your child perceived to be frightening, invasive, upsetting, or painful.

  • Prenatal trauma, which can include distressing or traumatic experiences that are experienced by a fetus or infant in utero or during the birthing process

  • Divorce or Changes in Family Dynamics

  • Transitions, such as transitioning to a new home, new school, new neighbourhood, migrating to a new country as an immigrant or refugee, transitioning from childhood to adolescence and the experience of puberty.

    The impact of trauma can be long-lasting, but through the power of play therapy, a child can create new neural networks to integrate their trauma and rewire their brain and nervous system, so they can heal and even grow from their traumatic experience. Through this process, a child can begin to shift their behaviour and perceptions of themselves and their environment, and this is when their challenges can transform into empowerment.

    Positive Outcomes for Play Therapy can include:

  • Greater capacity to regulate emotions

  • More flexibility, less rigidity

  • Increase in self-worth/self-esteem

  • Empowerment

  • Making friends

  • Improve relationships

  • Improve sleep

  • Setting boundaries

  • Healthy ways of coping

  • Developing a sense of self/identity

  • Improve academic functioning

  • Learn social skills

  • Integrate and heal from traumatic experiences

  • Develop problem solving skills

  • Increase a sense of mastery

  • Explore and learn their values

Parent/Caregivers in the Play Therapy Process

In my practice, it is my belief that parents/caregivers play an important role in their child’s change process and I value working in collaboration with parents/caregivers to help them support their child’s growth, healing, and development both during and beyond our sessions. In fact, as most of a child’s experiences exist outside of our sessions, parents/caregivers have the opportunity to facilitate change and growth through their support, understanding, and their way of regulating their own emotions and relating to their child.

In supporting both children and parents/caregivers in the therapeutic process, I can offer parenting support and/or education sessions, offer specific resources or referrals, and in some instances have the parent/caregiver join a session to practice strategies and new ways of connecting with their child that will help facilitate growth and empowerment.

Intake session

Prior to beginning the play therapy process, I meet with one or both parents or caregivers for an intake session without their child present. This is an opportunity for you to share and me to learn more about your child and your reasons for bringing them to counselling. Together, we can collaborate on how to best support your child both in and out of sessions, and we can develop achievable and measurable goals for you to gauge your child’s progress through the play therapy process.

Once the therapy process has begun, we will meet for check-ins, the frequency of which will depend on the needs of you as the parent/caregiver and the needs of your child. In some cases, I meet with the child for 40-minutes and meet with the parent/caregiver for 10-minutes, and this can happen every session or after an agreed upon number of sessions. In other cases, I will have a certain number of sessions with the child and then the parent(s)/caregiver(s) will meet with me for a full session to discuss changes, progress, concerns, and/or to receive parent support and/or education.

Frequency and Duration

As every child and family are different, the frequency and duration of therapy will vary, but I often suggest that caregivers bring their child every 1 to 2 weeks, especially in the beginning so that we can build a strong relationship and begin diving into the process. As for the duration of counselling, I recommend your child have a minimum of 12-15 sessions to effectively work on their challenging experiences and perceptions and to create significant, long-lasting change. As with adults, new material that your child perceives as challenging can emerge into their conscious awareness through the process of counselling, so it is important children have the time and space to work through and overcome their challenges in the same way as adults. The duration of therapy will depend on the nature of your child’s challenges, when their challenges originated, and if they are continuing to experience these challenges. For example, if your child experienced a trauma in the past, the duration can depend on how far back the trauma occurred, and if the trauma is ongoing this will impact their ability to heal from their trauma. In addition, duration will depend on the frequency with which you bring your child for sessions.

Preparing your child for play therapy

In Synergetic Play Therapy™ (SPT), we believe this therapeutic process is an opportunity for your child to fully express themselves in a way that feels right for them, allows them to flourish, and begin feeling their best. If your child perceives this experience as a punishment for their behaviour or if they feel responsible for "fixing" any current issues, they will most likely be resistant to the process and it will take longer for them to develop trust with their therapist. Their participation in therapy is a gift, not a punishment.

According to Lisa Dion, founder of SPT™, a great way to introduce the process to your child is to say something like, "You are going to have your very own special play time to do whatever you need to do to feel great". Most children do not need much more than this as an introduction. If your child does, you can add things such as, "The place where you are going has a room full of toys and you get to play with whatever you want. I also met the person you are going to play with and she is really fun and nice." If your child still shows resistance to coming, the best approach is to simply validate their feelings. You might say, "I hear that you do not want to go and I understand that you are a little nervous. It is really important for you to have your own special time, so we are going to go and check it out." I have found that many children want their parent/caregiver to come into the first session, and stay for part or all of the first session. You may let them know that you can come in if they want, and this may help to ease their nerves.